Nukegara
by mouse ichigo
Summary: Naruto copes with his best friend's death. [Sasunaru;oneshot;death&fluff?]


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto; they belong to Kishimoto-sensei and Shonen Jump.

Warning: Major sappyness, yaoi, fluff, and death. They don't go so well together… .

Nukegara

(Cast-off Shell)

"Us, that summer's day,  
Left behind—  
In the fleeting light of hope."

Nukegara, Plastic Tree

It's all over. Sasuke finally gained the power he wanted and lost his soul to Orochimaru. I did not even know if he could hear me calling to him, during and throughout the frantic battle between the Sound and the Leaf. His blood soaked the ashen snow, sullying its fragile purity and breaking Sakura's equally delicate heart.

Of course, Sakura knew it was something that had to be done. She was bitter, but she agreed that there was no other way. The Leaf lay in ashes and dust, blended dark and alizarin-crimson with mangled bodies of brave ninjas. The Sound attacked, and the Leaf defended. Sasuke lead the Sound, and I defeated him. It was not as if I didn't _care_ for Sasuke. I've known and understood him more than anyone else ever had. It's just that… he was murdering Iruka-sensei and Hinata and Konohamaru and all other important ones around me.

I held myself in check and bit in the stupid, foolish tears. We fought for three days, hard, and I drove my rasengan right into his chest. There had been a point where I knew that this truly was no longer the Sasuke I'd loved.

* * *

"Na…Naruto." 

He spoke lightly, his demonic red eyes returning black,

"You…"

"Sasuke, you bastard, you stupid, damned bastard…."

I saw his eyes open wide with shock, not understanding and dying before me. My rasengan had burst through his chest and blown him into a tree. Surely he died quickly; he did not feel a thing…

* * *

I told Sakura exactly what had happened. She did not take it well and spent the last days of her life in the hospital bed. Her ANBU unit had suffered many casualties, and while she was tending her leader, a Sound ninja had attacked. Everyone knew she would not survive the wounds, but they _all_ got angry with me for telling her. 

"But she should know."

"Yes, she should know. I agree with that completely." Kakashi-sensei stared hard at me, keeping his tone quiet. We were outside her room, out in the halls, yet we kept our voices down into mere whispers. It's just that he was staring, glowering at me menacingly, as if I had done something terribly wrong.

"Kakashi-sensei, then what the hell is the problem?"

"What is the problem? Don't play innocent with me, Naruto. This is no time to joke around."

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about."

I turned to walk away briskly, unnerved by how my former teacher was acting. But he grabbed my arm and slapped me. He hit me fast and hard, hard enough that I fell back in surprise and blood flowed from my torn lips and nose.

"You _told_ her, Naruto. That is the problem." He informed me in a strangely taut manner.

"She had to know, sensei. We can't lie to her."

"Naruto… But why? Do you still have a grudge against him?"

"Who?"

"Sasuke. You still hate him, you despise him so, that you'd just go ahead and tell—"

"You're mistaken, Kakashi-sensei." I felt annoyed that he'd get into this. I wiped my nose against my sleeve, ready to leave again. "I never hated Sasuke."

"Then why did you do it? Now she's going to die with this …"

"She promised me to bring him back, and I failed. She should know that, at least, before she died."

Kakashi-sensei just stared at me, with a strained and squinting look in his right eye. Perhaps he felt that I just wasn't _getting_ something. I didn't understand this something, this _one_ _thing_ important, and he desperately wanted me to see it. Whatever it was, it made him seem too burdened and heavy that he could not even start to explain. Shaking his head in utter hopelessness, he turned and walked away. I stayed and came to visit day after day, and Sakura died within a week.

* * *

"Sasuke… why do you want to get stronger?" 

"Hm?"

"Why do you want this _power_ so much?"

"It's none of your business, idiot."

"Hmph…" I faked a pout and fell onto the soft, wet grass beneath me. It was no longer a solid green, but an orange-red that reflected the setting sun above us. I closed my eyes, built-up tensions and fatigue summoning slumber.

"Oi… Naruto? Are you sleeping?" He asked me quietly, with that cool boyish voice of his. It melded with the soft sounds of summer-cicadas far away, and the hot breeze that warmed our faces. It felt kind of nice, in a way.

"Nh…yeah…" I replied.

Then I felt Sasuke lying close by me. He was so close to me that I could feel his body-heat and the tip of his fingers over mine. I opened my eyes and stared into his sharingan, until he smiled at me gently.

"Huh?"

And he burst out laughing, his dark lashes shading cheeks in a pretty way.

"You look like a girl, Sasuke. Stop laughing at me!"

"Sure, Naruto…Idiot, whatever nonsense you're always saying… you sound so damned stupid."

"What! What did I say wrong?"

"Why do I want power? Isn't it obvious by now? Wasn't all that hard to miss…"

"You're the one who's stupid! How am I supposed to know anything about you?"

He just gave me the most amused, smirking look, the look that reminded me of his beauty, strength, and superiority. It made me feel inferior, somehow, that I would never be able to smile like that.

"Since you didn't catch it," he leaned closer, "and you're such an idiot," and closer still, "I might as well just tell you now."

I could not say anything; I was too embarrassed and burning hot-red that I just froze. I closed my eyes tightly and drew into myself instinctively, afraid of what he might do.

Sasuke hovered over my face for a second, his breath haggard over my face. Then he gathered his body over mine, his lips touching my eyes carefully, as if he wanted to get a feel of whatever he was about to do.

"Sa…Sasuke," I protested, but he moved his lips onto mine. I did not dare open my eyes, especially when I felt his tongue run over my mouth. I gasped lightly, and he took the opportunity to shove himself in me.

I couldn't decide whether it hurt more than it'd actually felt good. I remember him thrusting into me, none too gently, and I had struggled in his grasp. I had no idea how we managed to strip ourselves bare, in the heat of such a summer and out in the open. Anyone could have seen, yet neither of us cared.

He used my blood to help himself in, and I beat his shoulders with tight fists, screaming murders. Yet I could not, I _did_ not stop him. I bit his lips and tugged his hair, cursing and moaning at the same time. It was like crying without tears; it was definitely the strangest experience I ever had.

When Sasuke was done with me, he collapsed and did not move. I felt my body cool somewhat, cold and clammy against the summer breeze and Sasuke's pale skin.

"Sasuke… You're heavy." I complained.

"Shut up, idiot." He replied.

"No, get off of me…"

"Mmm, no…can't."

"Why not!" I huffed irately.

"I just fucked you. Now I'm tired."

I turned my reddening face away, so I couldn't see his smirking arrogant face. But he laughed anyway, mocking my shyness.

"You're such a bastard sometimes, Sasuke. You're the weird one," I accused.

"Really?" He answered nonchalantly, yet I could tell he was still grinning.

"Yeah; you're a weird bastard. I ask you a question and you… you…" I was unable to finish.

"Well it's kind of obvious now, isn't it?"

"No it's not! Why do you keep saying that!" I was getting pretty angry at him for being so subtle and difficult with everything I'd said. Eventually, we got up and started to dust ourselves.

The sun had gone down completely, and I was panicking that I couldn't find my shirt in the damp darkness. I swore angrily, kicking the ground, then immediately regretting my action.

"Dammit, Sasuke… What did you do to me?"

"Are you sore?" He asked and grabbed my hand.

"Of course I am! It hurts like hell!" I whined loudly and hoped that he'd at least feel guilty about it. However, Sasuke seemed to be thinking. He wasn't listening to me.

"I can't even find my shirt…" I shuffled around uncomfortably, looking for my shirt. I didn't care about anything anymore, just that the pain in my rear and my back was killing me and that I so desperately wanted to go home.

"Oi, Naruto. Where are you." Sasuke called. His tone had changed, somehow, as if he'd changed in a few seconds. It bit like ice in the air, and I shivered instinctively.

"Sa... Sasuke? I'm by the tree." I responded softly. I didn't want to show any sign of weakness, but I was about to fall down on the ground.

"I'll take you home."

"A..Alright."

It felt pretty nice, having Sasuke support me through the forest and into the dark streets near my apartment-house. No one saw us together, wobbling blindly and talking in hushed, low voices, and it felt good. I came to trust Sasuke completely, and he the same with me. We were best friends, lovers, whatever one would call it, and were completely oblivious of the darkness surrounding us.

It would be the instant we'd arrived at my door, that Sasuke would confess. He looked rather uneasy talking, his rich, arrogant voice cowering into a mere whisper.

"Naruto, before you go, well… I thought you should know."

"What?"

"I want to get stronger…because I want to protect those I care for."

"Oh. That's all?"

I wished I had not said that. But at the time, as a wild, ignorant child of early teens, I thought that there _should_ be something deeper and dangerous, much more exciting behind Sasuke's motives. I was partly right, but it does not matter now. I would never forget the sulking look he wore when he left me by my apartment door. I called to him 'good night, see you tomorrow, Sasuke,' and he limply raised a hand to accept my dull-witted parting words. He did not even turn to see me frown.

* * *

Sasuke left for the Sound village a couple of months after our incident. I felt confused and rather angry at how he made Sakura cry. When I caught up to him, it was as if he had forgotten about everyone who had ever loved him. I did not realize that I was also included in that list, until it was too late and my rasengan had burst his cold and miserableheart. 

I formed a habit later on, to visit Sasuke's lonely grave every morning. I went to Sakura's also, from time to time, but I was devastated in realizing just _how much_ I actually cared for the brooding Uchiha.

He had said that he'd protect those he cared for.

Did that include me?

I ask that foolish question from time to time, allowing myself to shed useless tears. Never in my life had I cared so deeply for someone without realizing that I had.

It's all over now. But I cannot help but regret and pity myself and my sulking best friend. It's as if it was over for the two of us, the day he left me baffled by my apartment door.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry if you were expecting a lemon. I just can't write it. And don't blame me for the sappy parts... it was all from the stupid sat test I had to take yesterday. So nerve wrecking... Yeah. Anyway. Credits for translation-lyrics go to www dot Nejimaki dot net. Plastic Tree is the love. Really. Thanks for reading. 

Isshi


End file.
